GENERIC VS. RARE

Wether you are planning on your future family, or you already have a child or whole bunch, there is always huge tickling quantum of mothering questions in every parent's head and it goes like this:

“What should we wrap our baby's butt in? Should we go bio and use cotton diapers / vs. Organic paper choice, or should we start saving money for future generation of colleges, and buy whatever the easiest choice on our market?

“Should we vaccinate our children, or belong to group of anti-vaccination society?”

“Should we stay the way we lived our lives all along, or should we become super natural species – Vegetarians, Bio ONLY please, Pescetarians, or even Vegans?

These “QPQ”(Quantum Parental Questionnaire) is never-ending story which can make us turn feeling constant quilt, and question ourselves for no good reason-Or is it? I have had the most awesome life opportunity to give a birth to four children, two boys and later on two girls. My mothering background comes from U.S., concretely Los Angeles, which widened to Europe, Switzerland unlimited. There are so many factors of decision making each parent goes through, there is not enough days in our lives. Just thinking about small detail as a diaper choice can get you a huge headache. But, should it? If our decision comes straight from our heart, then we never go wrong. I will give you some personal opinions on this topic, and you will make up your mind as you read on it.

When I had my first baby at the age of 21, we lived in States. I automatically ran to drug store and bought the largest pack of Pampers or Huggies, which are the brands of the major generic diapers companies. There are so many things to do and to think of…how on Earth can any parent think of “Oh, this is the easiest choice of many better ones”. As a parents of the very first baby we think completely differently, and find the importance and priorities elsewhere, as opposed to parents with larger number of children. For new parents everything has to be perfect. I, myself, for cruel example had to have this amazing Medela milk pump in backpack built-in or else! To have a baby, to me it meant: “I’m shopping at Bellini- spending at least ten grand, until then I ain’t coming home! The furniture for new born must have been only new edition of the high line. My baby had to have all Gerber foods existent just because it’s a huge chain advertising with the cutest ‘Gerber baby’ commercials. When buying a toy, it must have been in ‘Toys R Us’ because the Chicco, Evenflo, etc. are so well known I would not hesitate. Buying a stroller nearly caused me a marriage cuz the stroller was nearly the price of our car. I had to have it cuz Gwyneth Paltrow had the same and advertised it too! As a new parent, I popped the baby in the pram when doctor’s check up, and nodded yes to all vaccinations, even asked for more (optional ones), cuz we are in America so we should! The more the better! Whenever my baby sneezed, I ran straight to doctor’s office asking for any-many remedies he could prescribe, and why? Because Doctor is ALWAYS right! When my first child’s molars got chipped by whatever reason, Dr. Goldstein of Beverly Hills suggested us three golden crowns under anaesthetics. Without any thought to that, I took the first possible date. It was my stupidest decision from all above. My son at the age three was knocked out and I held his head per Doctor’s advice. Until now I feel nauseous watching him fall asleep. Even worse was when he woke up, he felt horribly sick, vomited the whole day and could not walk. Why? Just so he can have three teeth completely covered in gold, or whatever medical metal. At the time the lice came in my son’s class at the Elementary school, I made sure we had the strongest chemicals to kill those inevitable creatures. Now, thinking back, what a catastrophe. I could go on and on with my decisions of early motherhood and you can instantly take them as ‘Rude Awakening Examples’. But who are we to judge! I’m not entering into argument that now I know better, because I have four children and experience. I’m just communicating that when one makes decision by heart with open mind, without prejudice it might be the good one.

Now, let me confess why I changed my mind about so many kids relevant topics, from having fist to having a second child. After having purchased and seen the quality and the comfort of generic diapers, I found that they always leaked disgusting gel, smelled equally disgusting synthetic perfume of the brand and just thinking of how many hundreds of them I used, makes me feel very guilty for our planet. Can you imagine that if (lets say) five millions of babies world wide use pampers, what it does? I looked and saw just a bit of how generic diapers are made and let me tell you without going into chemical analysis, that I rather keep my baby without the diaper. Actually, that’s what I just did with my three last ones. In full honesty, between preparing for my first and second child, I found that it felt much lighter and better for my own lifestyle and my mind, becoming eco-minimalist. My no. 3 & 4 wore Bio cotton diapers for first couple of months. Straight as the baby was looking around and started responding, I hopped them on potty. I know! I got this same response from each and every of my friends. But it worked miracles. First of all, it was lots of fun to hold baby on the potty at the beginning (2 months old), watching the baby figure out what does it mean, googling its eyes, wondering, “What does this funny chair stands for and what should I do here”. Potty training from start can be actually very good exercise and a new engaging activity for babies. As you know, babies love to discover things. Just because the babies don’t talk doesn’t mean at all, that they can’t comprehend peeing & Pooing. Babies actually love sitting on the potty (at least my did), and definitely at this age, they will not boycott you on potty training as opposed to three years olds. Sure you can reason that you work full time and can’t afford this ‘time luxury’. That’s another story. But I always say: “There are no problems, but solutions! Believe it or not, the baby’s pooping time on the potty takes way lesser time then going around the shopping malls, or offices, or wherever you are, looking for family toilets or changing tables. I have been there and done it. Yes, I do speak from experience. And yes, some of my friends got embarrassed whenever I took my baby behind the bush:) Naturally! We are humans, no? I love love love potty training from the start. Actually, it’s my new hobby and recommendation. What I do not like to do (but that just cuz I’m extremely lazy) is going out of my way, buying ‘yucky’ wet napkins, every time new diapers (yet don’t forget that you DO forget, especially when breastfeeding), asking people for spare diapers is soooo annoying(I was cadet at that), thinking of carrying it EVERYWHERE (for like three years? OMG!) and then-in middle of something important having to run urgently, finding a bathroom and do the whole ritual…while the baby’s screaming with baked poop on the butt! No thank you. Neither I would like to have poop stuck to my butt all smeared up in the diaper. No wonder that later on we have long lasting issues with three years old “potty ‘not-friendly“ children. You can argue that ALL SOCIETY does potty training way later, but let’s don’t get the ‘SHS' (“Sheep Herding Syndrome”)

Again, we all have our preferences, but for consideration let’s think of pros and cons:

Pros:

1; You do not trash the planet (Did you know that the biggest island of garbage floating in the Ocean is three times the size of France?)

2; Your baby’s but isn’t exposed to chemicals & perfumes (That’s right!)

3; You save a good amount of money.

4; Your baby has its ‘first activity check:)’ a potty training!

5; You will avoid carrying waste such as wet clothes/diapers/creams. (I would not want that cream on my but)

6; You will avoid looking for changing rooms, which is always a hassle!

Cons:

1; You need to think of asking your baby on potty at least every half hour. (If that must be a con..)

2; You need to carry change of clothes everywhere. (So what! In any case you need to.)

Actually, I can’t even think of any con. Those two above are boring ones. Maybe you can comment on this article and give me some? Back to base, the core-reason for iMarshmallows articles is not to prove anyone’s wrong or write. The iMarshmallows parents page came to the surface for the opposite reason! We find that every family magazine is writing about ‘perfect this-perfect that!’, yet it’s far as kite from reality. Not only is it boring but that’s not how the world rolls. We are far from ‘Hollywood bright smile’, and want to open all your human senses of perception on family life, crisis, inadequacy & imperfection of parenting, because we all feel crazy, lazy, week or awakened from LaLa Land: “What happened to my life? I was the busiest PR flying only business and now What- I suck the boogies with manual pipe! Whoaaaaaa” This is the right platform for any parent to share with everyone their own stories, wether full of beans, or one that will get us. Essentially, here you can share your kind of a story with everyone without any judgements. Please send your article to iMaginemarshmallows@gmail.com

“Judgement free Cast”


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